Showing posts with label physical disability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label physical disability. Show all posts

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Thanksgiving: Cartoons and Gratitude

Thanksgiving Day weekend is an American holiday. It's our version of the harvest celebration that I suspect most or all cultures developed: probably not long after shifting to agriculture as a source of food.

The American holiday, according to a Wikipedia article, "...has its historical roots in religious traditions, but today is celebrated in a more secular manner...."

I wouldn't mind if the religious aspects of Thanksgiving got a little more attention, but I also don't mind the secular angle: particularly since I can have fun with it.


(From Apathetic Lemming of the North (2012))


(From Apathetic Lemming of the North (2010))

Something I didn't see in the Wikipedia article was the American habit of visiting family during the four-day weekend. My wife and I are at the point where the kids come to see us, and that's another topic.

Theological Implications of a Spaghetti Hat

The poster featured a profoundly unhappy baby wearing a bowl of spaghetti. The slogan was something like 'thank God anyway.' Or maybe it was 'praise God anyway.'

It was cute, and made a sensible point.

Being thankful for good health, or an above-average income, is fairly easy.

Being thankful after coming down with the flu, or being fired? That takes effort.

Readings for November 22, 2012, Thanksgiving Day in America, included this:
"2 And now, bless the God of all, who has done wondrous things on earth; Who fosters men's growth from their mother's womb, and fashions them according to his will!"
(Sirach 50:22)
Being alive could be near the top of a list of 'reasons for being thankful:' particularly when one considers the alternative.

- - - Aside from That, Pretty Good

I was used as a lab rat as an infant, without my parent's knowledge. (February 3, 2009)

I slogged through decades of undiagnosed major depression and ADHD-inattentive, or maybe Asperger's; lost a dear friend to suicide; and nearly lost my wife when one of our children died during childbirth. (June 3, 2012)

But aside from that, I've had a pretty good life:
"...I've been blessed with good parents, and a mind that's thirsty for knowledge. My wife stood by me through some very rough times. Four of our six children survived birth, and are as wonderfully varied a new generation as I could have hoped for...."
(June 3, 2012)

Emotions, Reason, and All That

I'm not one of those permanently-cheerful folks.

Even with pharmaceuticals that make thinking easier than it's been since my preteens, I'm all too capable of seeing life's serious side. Which doesn't make me a 'sour faced saint,' and that's yet another topic. (September 13, 2011)

I don't have anything against emotions: they're part of being human. But I try to avoid making decisions based on feelings.

If it sounds odd for a 'religious' person to say that: bear in mind that I'm a Catholic. We're told that:
  • Reason
    • Isn't opposed to faith
      (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 35)
    • Is a critical part of
      • Conscience
        (Catechism, 1778)
      • Human law
        (Catechism, 1902)
      • Natural law
        (Catechism, 1954-1960)
    • As intellect, an attribute of God
      (Catechism, 271)
    • An ability which makes human beings like God
      (Catechism, 1730)
  • Emotions
    • Are "natural components of the human psyche"(Catechism, 1764)
      • Aren't "good" or "bad" by themselves
        (Catechism, 1762-1770)
    • Should be governed by reason
      (Catechism, 1767)
    (December 18, 2011)
I've felt grateful: an emotion. I've also decided that I was grateful: a reasoned decision. There are times when I have to think a lot before deciding to be grateful.

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Sunday, June 3, 2012

Fasting, Penance: and Infinite Depths of Joy

I follow the Man:
  • Who said
    • "...take courage, I have conquered the world."
      (John 16:33)
    • "Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM."
      (John 8:58)
    • And made it stick
  • Who was killed
  • Who gave his followers orders
    • Which we are still carrying out
      • Two millennia later
I hope for an unending life of joy and peace with my Lord. Following Jesus isn't always fun: but even now there's an echo of the "glorious joy" that, God willing, is ahead.

Despondency isn't a Virtue?

I've heard "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" sung as if it's a funeral dirge; and met folks whose theme seems to be "oh woe, all ye faithful."

There seems to be a confusion of despondency with virtue in some American subcultures. I think it's partly connected with this country's cultural history. Some of the folks who set the spiritual tone for America managed to present Christianity as a rather grim affair:
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
H. L. Mencken, The Quotations Page
Long before Mencken, Puritans, and the Mayflower, some folks got the idea that tangible, physical, things are evil. The idea caught on, and has been repackaged quite a few times over the centuries. Millennia, actually.

Knowing Stuff; Being 'Spiritual;' and Icky, Sticky, Physical Things

I can see an appeal to believing that knowing stuff, and being really 'spiritual,' is good - not like icky, sticky, physical things. I like knowing stuff, and learning more.

But believing that what can be seen, touched, tasted, are bad because they're physical? That would force me to assume that God is a klutz, and doesn't know good from bad:
"Then God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light.

"God saw how good the light was. God then separated the light from the darkness."
(Genesis 1:3-4)
"God called the dry land 'the earth,' and the basin of the water he called 'the sea.' God saw how good it was. "
(Genesis 1:10)
I think the idea that there are two eternal, balanced, equally-matched, principles locked in an unending struggle between Good and Evil, could make a really good story. But I don't think it's true.

More to the point, the Church says that's not how it works.
"...Still others have affirmed the existence of two eternal principles, Good and Evil, Light and Darkness, locked in permanent conflict (Dualism, Manichaeism). According to some of these conceptions, the world (at least the physical world) is evil, the product of a fall, and is thus to be rejected or left behind (Gnosticism)...."
(Catechism of the Catholic Church, 285)

"The truth about creation is so important for all of human life that God in his tenderness wanted to reveal to his People everything that is salutary to know on the subject. Beyond the natural knowledge that every man can have of the Creator,124 God progressively revealed to Israel the mystery of creation. He who chose the patriarchs, who brought Israel out of Egypt, and who by choosing Israel created and formed it, this same God reveals himself as the One to whom belong all the peoples of the earth, and the whole earth itself; he is the One who alone 'made heaven and earth.' 125"
(Catechism, 287)

Genesis and Getting a Grip

America's cultural assumptions about Genesis, the Bible, science, and psychiatric disorders being what they are, I'd better explain that I'm a practicing Catholic.

I don't have to hate science, or believe that the Bible was written by Americans: Or by folks who were as poetically-challenged and literalistic as some of my fellow-citizens.

I take the Bible, Sacred Scripture, very seriously. But I don't refer to the Bible when trouble-shooting my computer, and it's not a science textbook:

Emotions, Faith, and Something Indescribable

Fasting, Confession, penance, and other serious matters, are part of being a Catholic. So is joy. I don't mean a sort of Giggle Gospel, encouraging folks to 'get high on Jesus.'

Not that emotions are bad: but I can't and won't rely on a 'feel-good faith,' and that's another topic. (March 3, 2009)

"Joy" can be a noun or a verb:
  • Noun
    • The emotion of great happiness
    • Something or someone that provides a source of happiness
  • Verb
    • Feel happiness or joy
    • Make glad or happy
    (Princeton's WordNet)
"Joy" is "the emotion of great happiness:" so if I stop feeling "great happiness," I've lost my faith? No, I really don't think so. I've posted about the "dark night of the soul" before. (April 22, 2010)

If this "joy" thing that Christians are supposed to experience isn't just an emotional buzz, how would I describe it? Part of the answer is in the first chapter of Peter:
"Although you have not seen him you love him; even though you do not see him now yet believe in him, you rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy,

"as you attain the goal of (your) faith, the salvation of your souls."
(Peter 1:8-9)
Knowing that it's "an indescribable and glorious joy" doesn't give me the sort of definite answer I might want: but I've gotten used to the idea that God's God, and I'm not. I don't expect to have all the answers. Not now, anyway.

Joy and Jesus

I converted to Catholicism because it made sense: but there's more to it than that.

I've followed Jesus for as long as I can remember. After I found out who held the authority that my Lord gave Peter, I only had one viable option. (Matthew 16:13-19, John 6:68)

For two millennia, the Catholic Church has been telling folks about Jesus:
"The transmission of the Christian faith consists primarily in proclaiming Jesus Christ in order to lead others to faith in him. From the beginning, the first disciples burned with the desire to proclaim Christ: 'We cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.'11 And they invite people of every era to enter into the joy of their communion with Christ:
"That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon and touched with our hands, concerning the word of life-the life was made manifest, and we saw it, and testify to it, and proclaim to you the eternal life which was with the Father and was made manifest to us-that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you may have fellowship with us; and our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing this that our joy may be complete.12"
(Catechism of the Catholic Church, 425)

What About All Those Rules?

There's something to the stereotype that the Catholic Church has lots of rules. The Vatican's "Secret Archives," a sort of office library for the Holy See, has about 85 kilometers of shelving now.

The basic principles are simple: Love God, love your neighbor; everybody's your neighbor. (Matthew 5:43-44; Matthew 22:36-40; Mark 12:29-31; Luke 10:25-27, 29-37; and Catechism of the Catholic Church 1822, 1825)

I think the proliferation of rules and explanations is partly the result of two millennia of folks trying to weasel out of the basic principles, simply stated. (September 26, 2011)

There's an attractive notion that all a person has to do is 'really believe' in Jesus. Yes, belief is important. But so is doing something about it. (James 2:18-20) I never could see the point in believing something: and not acting as if that belief mattered.

This gets me to morality - which sounds an awful lot like what those grim 'oh woe, all ye faithful' folks are so grimly sanctimonious about.

Like I've said before, "morality" isn't just about "morality." Ethical behavior includes what we do about our sexuality: but there's a lot more to being human than sex.

Where was I? Joy, Jesus, rules: right.

"Sing for Joy to the Living God"

By cherry picking in the Catechism, and elsewhere, I could find 'proof' that the Catholic Church only accepts perfect people. We're supposed to work at perfection: but it's a goal, not an entrance requirement.

There's a sort of 'payoff' to being perfect, apparently:
"Moral perfection consists in man's being moved to the good not by his will alone, but also by his sensitive appetite, as in the words of the psalm: 'My heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.' 46"
(Catechism, 1770)
Somehow, I don't think I'll find out what that sort of "moral perfection" feels like this week. Or this month, or year - but it's still a good goal.

Meanwhile, I can work at developing virtues: human and otherwise.
"Human virtues are firm attitudes, stable dispositions, habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith. They make possible ease, self-mastery, and joy in leading a morally good life. The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good.

"The moral virtues are acquired by human effort. They are the fruit and seed of morally good acts; they dispose all the powers of the human being for communion with divine love."
(Catechism, 1804)
The human virtues are rooted in the theological virtues: faith, hope, and charity. (Catechism, 1812-1829)

Joy: Short-Term and Long-Term

My long-term goal is the joy of Heaven. In the short term, I realize that there's no guarantee that I'll have a worry-free life. I follow Jesus: and my Lord went through some rough terrain:
"1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us 2 and persevere in running the race that lies before us

"while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith. For the sake of the joy that lay before him he endured the cross, despising its shame, and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God."
(Hebrews 12:1-2)
I'd just as soon not be tortured and executed for my faith: and don't think it's likely that I will face that.

God, Rain, and Me

On the other hand, I don't expect following Jesus to result in fame, fortune, and a rollicking good time. Although my life has been pretty good.

I've been blessed with good parents, and a mind that's thirsty for knowledge. My wife stood by me through some very rough times. Four of our six children survived birth, and are as wonderfully varied a new generation as I could have hoped for.

Some of what I've experienced isn't obviously good news. I've:
  • Been used as a sort of lab rat
    • Without my parents' knowledge
  • Lived for decades with
    • Undiagnosed
      • Major depression
      • ADHD-inattentive or
        • Asperger syndrome
        • Something else
    • Pain in my hip joints
      • Until getting them swapped out
        • In my '50s
  • Lost a dear friend to suicide
  • Lost two of six children
    • Nearly lost my wife when the second died
I think God's given me lots of opportunities to practice patience and other virtues. Which is just as well, since I'm not a very patient man. Actually, I need improvement in all the virtues.

As nearly as I can tell, God loves all of us. He showers blessings on everyone, pouring sunshine and rain "on the just and the unjust." (Matthew 5:45)

Joy: "At the Heart of the Christian Experience"

Earlier this year, Pope Benedict XVI discussed joy, and reasons for rejoicing:
"...Joy is at the heart of Christian experience. At each World Youth Day we experience immense joy, the joy of communion, the joy of being Christian, the joy of faith. This is one of the marks of these gatherings. We can see the great attraction that joy exercises. In a world of sorrow and anxiety, joy is an important witness to the beauty and reliability of the Christian faith...."

"...A yearning for joy lurks within the heart of every man and woman. Far more than immediate and fleeting feelings of satisfaction, our hearts seek a perfect, full and lasting joy capable of giving 'flavour' to our existence...."
("Message for the 27th World Youth Day," Pope Benedict XVI (March 15, 2012))
There's quite a bit more: I strongly recommend following that link and reading the rest.

Jesus, Joy, and Standing Orders

Here's why my Lord endured torture and death:
"1 2 When Jesus had said this, he raised his eyes to heaven and said, 'Father, the hour has come. Give glory to your son, so that your son may glorify you,
...
"But now I am coming to you. I speak this in the world so that they may share my joy completely.

"I gave them your word, and the world hated them, because they do not belong to the world any more than I belong to the world.
...
"Consecrate them in the truth. Your word is truth.

"As you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world.
...
"I made known to them your name and I will make it known, 8 that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them.' "
(John 17:1, 13-14, 17-18, 26)
Later, after Jesus stopped being dead, my Lord gave His disciples the standing orders that we're still carrying out:
"11 Then Jesus approached and said to them, 'All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me.

"Go, therefore, 12 and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit,

"teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. 13 And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.' "
(Matthew 28:18-20)

"Infinite Joy"

I've had a few unpleasant experiences: a stubbed toe; the death of a baby; hurting one way when I moved, and another when I didn't.

But I'm convinced that it is all overwhelmed, lost in an infinite ocean of joy: if I keep my wits about me, remember to look at the 'big picture,' and accept the love of God.

One more excerpt, and I'm done:
"...Whatever brings us true joy, whether the small joys of each day or the greatest joys in life, has its source in God, even if this does not seem immediately obvious. This is because God is a communion of eternal love, he is infinite joy that does not remain closed in on itself, but expands to embrace all whom God loves and who love him...."
("Message for the 27th World Youth Day," Pope Benedict XVI (March 15, 2012))
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Friday, January 20, 2012

My Take on the News: Down Syndrome; Religious Freedom; the Vatican's News Service, Beta Version

I don't see a point in believing that something's true, and not acting as if it is. I believe that:
  • Human life is precious
  • Folks should be free to say what's on their minds
  • Having another source of news is okay
Which is pretty much what I'm writing about today:
  1. Defective People and 'What Will the Neighbors Think?'
  2. Religious Freedom: All Week
  3. Vatican News: Beta Version

1. Defective People and 'What Will the Neighbors Think?'

I've seen 'improving the race' and 'what will the neighbors think' give way to 'my choice' and 'every child a wanted child' as reasons to kill people who fail to conform to some physical standard, or are in the way.

That's wrong, because
  • Human life is precious
    • Sacred
      (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2258)
  • It's wrong to deliberately kill an innocent person
    (Catechism, 2258-2262)
    • "Innocent" doesn't mean "perfect"
When the victim is innocent and defenseless, I get more than a little peeved.
"Extreme abortion rate for disabled leads to DC conference"
Michelle Bauman, CNA (Catholic News Agency) (January 19, 2012)

"An upcoming conference in the nation's capital will address the staggering 90 percent abortion rate of babies with disabilities, while emphasizing the often unknown joys of caring for the disabled.

"Many people have a 'complete misunderstanding of the gift of a disabled baby,' said organizer Jeanne Monahan, director of the Center for Human Dignity at the Family Research Council in Washington, D.C.

"At the Jan. 21 'Council on Poor Prenatal Diagnoses and Therapeutic Intervention,' speakers will raise awareness about the dignity of all human life, including those with serious disabilities...."
What I see as good news in this article is that as many as 15% of people with Down syndrome aren't killed before birth. Given the sort of pressure on young parents to produce high-quality stock: that's doing pretty well.

Easy, No: Good, Yes

Culling 'defective' people from the herd is something I tend to take personally, since I was born with substandard hips. I've never lived a 'quality lifestyle,' from the point of view of someone who enjoys outdoor sports: but I'm rather glad to be alive.

Glitches in my brain's biochemistry didn't get diagnosed until recently: and even now, knowing that I've lived with major depression and ADHD-inattentive for most of my life, I'm glad that I'm alive. I've been over some of this before:
No, I don't understand from personal experience what it's like to have Down syndrome, or have someone with that particular deviation from average in the immediate family. On the other hand, I know a family who does, and they seem to be doing pretty well.

Back to that article:
"...A study published last October in the American Journal of Medical Genetics revealed that 99 percent of adults with Down syndrome reported being happy with their lives.

"The majority of parents and guardians surveyed also said they had a more positive outlook on life, and most siblings said they believed they were better people because of their family member with Down syndrome.

"Yet babies who undergo 'poor prenatal diagnoses' are among the most targeted groups for abortion, amounting to what Monahan described as 'essentially genocide.'

"Current estimates indicate that between 85 and 90 percent of Down syndrome babies are aborted, which shows the dramatic need for pro-life genetic counseling programs across the country, she said...."
(CNA)
I think that killing nine out of every 10 people with Down syndrome is a bad thing. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2268)

There's hope, though. One out of every 10 parents whose child doesn't live up to society's standards - resist pressure to kill that child. Considering how long we've been told that the unfit and unwanted should die, that sort of resistance is remarkable.

2. Religious Freedom: All Week

I'm a practicing Catholic, so I have to value religious freedom (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2104-2109) For everybody. (Catechism, 2106)

I also think it's a good idea to live as if God matters: to do something about what I believe. (James 2:19-20; Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1021) There's more to being a Catholic than 'going to church on Sunday.'
"Pope warns of 'grave threat' to religious freedom in US"
David Kerr, CNA (Catholic News Agency) (January 19, 2012)

"Pope Benedict XVI warned today of a 'grave threat' to religious liberty in the United States that requires American Catholics to respond with intelligence and courage.

" 'It is imperative that the entire Catholic community in the United States come to realize the grave threats to the Church's public moral witness presented by a radical secularism which finds increasing expression in the political and cultural spheres,' he said...."
I think two key words there are "intelligence" and "courage."

Courage

It takes courage to say "no" when authorities expect us to say "yes." When government authorities, medical professionals, and socially powerful people say otherwise, it's not easy to say that killing a defective child is wrong, or that caring for the sick is right. (Catechism, 2268-2275, 2276-2279)

Intelligence

Despite the cultural assumption that religion is, by definition, unreasonable: the Catholic Church says it's okay to use our brain. Actually, we're expected to use human intelligence. And wisdom. (Catechism, 156, 158-159, 1954-1960)

Conscience: Seven Days a Week

"...Meanwhile, other bishops raised the 'worrying tendency to reduce religious freedom to mere freedom of worship' without guarantees of respect for freedom of conscience.

"At present, the Obama administration is considering imposing a contraception and sterilization mandate that would require all insurance companies to provide those services free of charge. The regulation has a religious exemption clause, but it provides very few exceptions for Church organizations.

"Some states are also pushing Catholic adoption agencies out of business or severely limiting their work because they refuse to compromise the Church's beliefs on same-sex 'marriage.'..."
(CNA)
Despite what 'everybody knows' in some circles, the Catholic Church doesn't hate homosexuals. And I've been over this before:Moving on.

Be Different: Make Sense

One of the reasons I became a Catholic was that what the Church says makes sense. What the Church teaches isn't always easy, and I didn't want some of what I was learning to be true. But I finally had to admit that some of the best minds of the last few millennia were right. And that's another topic.

Making sense is one thing. Getting heard is another. I think it's easier for someone with another 'end times prophecy,' or the secular equivalent, to get attention.

Happily, the Internet lets folks share ideas: without the approval of some editor or review board. That's a sort of good news/bad news situation.

Online, I've run into everything from the Vatican's website to a warning that squirrels are plotting to enslave humanity. I'm fairly confident that, given a level playing field, the marketplace of ideas will separate fact from silliness. Then there's SOPA, and that's yet another topic. Topics.

Back to what the Pope said:
"...Pope Benedict said these issues highlight the need for an 'engaged, articulate and well-formed Catholic laity endowed with a strong critical sense vis-à-vis the dominant culture.' The American laity must have the 'courage to counter a reductive secularism which would delegitimize the Church's participation in public debate,' he said....

"...To read Pope Benedict's full address, please visit: http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/document.php?n=1059"
(CNA)

3. Vatican News: Beta Version

"Vatican pleased news website is popular"
David Kerr, CNA (Catholic News Agency) (January 17, 2012)

"The Vatican’s Pontifical Council for Social Communications says it is very happy with new figures that show over 10,000 people are using its online news site every day.

" 'I think that for an initiative that is only a few months old these results are really quite positive,' said Archbishop Claudio Maria Celli, president of the communications council, in a Jan. 13 interview with CNA. The site, www.news.va, went live in June 2011...."
NEWS.VA's English-language page is listed as a Beta version, as are the Español and Italiano ones. If you think the English-language page seems to pay overly-much attention to what's happening in the English-speaking world: you're probably right. I checked, and the three home pages feature different articles.

For example, the second item on the right on the English page is "METHODIST VIEWPOINT ON ECUMENICAL DIALOGUE." On the Spanish page, it's "SE ULTIMAN LOS PREPARATIVOS DE LA MUESTRA CON DOCUMENTOS ORIGINALES DEL VATICANO II." (I think that's something like 'Preparations were completed - Sample with the Original Documents of Vatican II') The Italian page has "IL CATECHISMO IN EBRAICO" in that position. ("The Catechism in Hebrew," more or less)

I suppose I could fuss about how 'unfair' that is: but that would mean claiming that everybody's supposed to be interested in the same things. Instead, I'll see the different mix of news for the three languages as a reasonable effort to serve folks who don't all live in the same neighborhood.

I've added the English home page of NEWS.VA to this blog's "blogroll/Catholic Links page, under Media.

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Monday, May 2, 2011

Thinking About Osama bin Laden, and What Father Lombardi Said

I don't expect what Father Federico Lombardi said to change the minds of any zealot. But stranger things have happened.

I wrote, yesterday, why I wasn't exulting in the death of Osama bin Laden - or speculating on what he'd be doing for the rest of eternity. Basically, I don't need that kind of trouble. (Matthew 7:1-5)

Someone at the Vatican made a more eloquent statement on that general topic. No surprises there. An excerpt from today's news:
"The Vatican says it does not rejoice in the death of Osama bin Laden.

" 'Faced with the death of a man, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibility of each and every one of us before God and before man, and hopes and commits himself so that no event is an opportunity for further growth of hatred, but for peace,' spokesman Father Federico Lombardi, S.J. said on May 2.

"Fr. Lombardi’s comments follow the announcement earlier today that the Al-Qaeda leader had been killed by U.S. forces in Pakistan. ... A U.S. official quoted by the Associated Press said Bin Laden's body has now been buried at sea....

"...'Osama bin Laden – as we all know – was gravely responsible for promoting division and hatred between peoples, causing the end of countless innocent lives, and of exploiting religions to this end.'..."
(CNA)
That burial at sea, by the way, seems to have been an effort by American forces to respect and follow Muslim customs for disposal of a body (CNN, FoxNews.com) My guess is that there will be bitter complaints about that - coming from several directions.

Oh, Hell: You Mean I Can't Stay Dead?

Although I grew up in a region where malignant virtue was endemic, my parents and church were nice, normal, mainstream Protestant Americans. I knew about folks claiming somebody would be going to Hell: generally 'those sinners over there.' But the fire-and-brimstone approach wasn't part of my personal experience.

By the time I was into my teens, I knew about Luke 18:13: "...'O God, be merciful to me a sinner.' " Not that I could have rattled off the book, chapter, and verse. And that's another topic.

The point is, I knew about God, Heaven, and the alternative. I didn't like the idea that Hell existed: but I didn't see what else could be done with folks who refused to be with God. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1033-1037)

A factor I have to keep in mind, when making decisions, is that I can't die. Not permanently. Nothing special about that: it's part of being human. On the other hand, we all die. Even if we avoid disease or injury, after a little while - we die. (Catechism, 1006-1014) (A special case like 2 Kings 2:11 is just that - a special case.)

If my body's death was the end of my existence, I could try optimizing the decades I had available, for maximum pleasure and minimum unpleasantness. Or to punish as many people as possible because they weren't like me - or for some other purpose.

Pursuing selfish goals isn't, I think, a good idea: because when I die, I've got a sort of final review to look forward to. The Church calls it the particular judgment. (Catechism, 1020-1050, especially 1021-1022) I hope and pray I'll have the good sense to follow the repentant thief's example. (Luke 23:42)

Osama bin Laden, Lazarus, and Me

I wrote a little about my reaction to Osama bin Laden's death yesterday. (May 2, 2011)

Aside from the Matthew 7 thing, bin Laden's death reminds me that I've got a limited time to work with.

I'm not quite in the position of either man in the parable of Lazarus and the rich man. (Luke 16:19-31) But, despite being used in a medical experiment and dealing with major depression plus something that's ADHD-inattentive, Asperger's, or maybe something else1 - I think I'm closer to being in the rich man's position.

Those apparent afflictions have given me a great deal to think about, over the decades: an opportunity not many folks get. On top of that, God equipped me with a seriously overclocked brain. No bragging: my only contribution was deciding to use what I've been given.2

Osama bin Laden's death reminds me that I've got a limited span of time to work with. And, although I must rely on my Lord's mercy, it seems pretty obvious that we're supposed to do something with what we've been given. (Catechism, 1422-1473, 1846-1848), I've also read Luke 19:12-27 and Matthew 25:14-21)

I don't think I'm morbidly dwelling on death and all that. On the other hand, now that medication has put my brain in better working order: I feel like I've got some serious catching up to do.

Related posts:In the news:
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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Why did God Do That to Me?

This post isn't - by far - the most tightly-organized on in this blog.

Writing it, I let my attention wander, doing minimal editing apart from adding headings by way of signposts along the path I took. There's a reason for that, which I may get back to: in yet another post.

Why this prologue? I figured you might appreciate a sort of 'heads up' about what to expect. Or a warning. I'll leave it up to you, to decide which it is.
I've sometimes wondered 'why did God do this to me?' (June 8, 2009) From what I've gathered about other folks, that's hardly a unique experience. Not even, most likely, a very rare one.

Oh, No! An Old Coot Rambling About His Symptoms

This is going somewhere, so please stick around. Or skip down to this post's next heading. Or take a break from the computer: It's up to you.

Where was I? 'Why did God do this to me.' Right.

For example, I was born with congenital hip dysplasia. A five-dollar word meaning that my hips didn't form properly. Between that, being born in 1951, and a medical experiment my parents didn't know about - but I've been over that before. (February 3, 2009) A few years ago I had both hip joints swapped out - along with some other long-overdue under-the-hood work. 2006 was a busy year. And that's another topic. (Through One Dad's Eye (June 3, 2007))

Not long after that, I was diagnosed as having major depression. Which explained quite a bit. Medication helped sort out my brain chemistry - then we discovered that I was ADD. Make that ADHD-inattentive. Next year the psychiatrists may have another term for that sort of thing. Another diagnosis: more medications.

Possible Side Effects Include - - -

Yesterday, after talking with the psychiatrist who's been working with me to fine-tune my brain's circuits, I made another slight adjustment in how much methylin/methylphenidate I take. It's a sort of generic form of Ritalin - and quite effective, in my case.

Still, anything that has "psychotic symptoms" listed as a possible side effect gets my attention.

- - - Sudden Death?!

I trust doctors. I also do a little research into the magic elixirs they prescribe before committing to a new medication. Following in my father's footsteps, in a way. After what amounted to a bad trip with a 'safe' prescription, he invested in a pharmaceutical 'whatsit' volume. Thick book, fine print. I do pretty much the same thing, except now there's the Internet. Yet another topic.

"Mild Central Nervous System Stimulant" - and "Psychotic Symptoms"

"Methylin is a mild central nervous system stimulant," according to the FDA. That outfit also says to look out for side effects like "nervousness and insomnia," "aggressive behavior or hostility," "psychotic symptoms," "hallucinations, delirium," and "sudden death."

I gave my wife the heads-up on what to look for before my first dose. Which was something of an anticlimax.

My experience with the stuff has been comparatively tame.

Apart from not having to 'fight the machinery' in terms of thinking. I haven't had this sort of clear-headedness since before my teens. Maybe ever. It's like having been driving a car without power brakes or steering, and with a sputtering motor - and then driving the same car with power everything, after a thorough tuneup. Same car - only now it works the way it's supposed to.

"I'm Not as Crazy as You Think I Moose"

I've seen that slogan - "I'm not as crazy as you think I moose" - on a button. It's silly, funny: and a pretty good example of the sort of thing I'm apt to say.

Off-the-50th-percentile thinking runs in the family. (example: Drifting at the Edge of Time and Space (November 12, 2010)) Can't say I'd recommend having my brain chemistry - but the package as a whole has its advantages.

Happily, the Catholic Church teaches that we're supposed to be ourselves - the way God wants us to be. I mentioned diversity, Catholic style, in the last post before this, and have been over the topic before. (August 26, 2010) Just as well, since I don't do conformity. Not very well, anyway.

Dishwater: Fascinating Stuff!

Quite a few folks around my age probably say they want to 'be themselves.'

It's a historical thing, partly. I was born in 1951, when the 'Man in the Gray Flannel Suit' conformity craze had some of the 'older generation' setting folks my age up to make Timothy Leary and Woodstock seem to make sense. By the time I was in my teens, quite a few of my contemporaries were defying conformity. By letting their hair grow out, and wearing jeans.

I wore white socks throughout high school - it was (just) inside the dress code. I'd probably have stood out from the crowd, anyway. Or been stood away from. I have yet to figure out which way that works.

Where was I again? Conformity. I don't have anything against folks whose dream is to be an accountant or a bank clerk. Or a lumberjack, or astronaut, or dental hygienist. If we were all alike, most of us would be redundant. And, probably, dead. Just getting things done seems to require different folks being more-or-less competent at different things. Yet again another topic. Topics.

I'm certainly not going to say that folks who are 'conventional' are dull as dishwater, which is a calumnym on dishwater. The stuff's fascinating. Many the time's I've watched flotillas of bubbles evolve, marveled at visible consequence of molecular interactions between water, grease, and detergent - and those are several other topics.

Eugenics: Eww!

That's partly because I think eugenics is a bad idea. A really bad idea. Good grief: another topic. (May 21, 2010) Criticizing folks who aren't 'colorful,' I mean: not dishwater. Even if the Church didn't have something to say about it (Catechism, 2268), and Western civilization was only now forgetting about Hitler's efforts to clean Europe's gene pool, I'd probably not approve of removing 'inferior' persons from the human race.

Mostly because I've been aware since my late pre-teens that I'd be culled soon after the first sweep. Which gets me back to 'why did God do that to me?'

Born a Cripple, Afflicted With Mental Disease: IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!

"Fair?" I've read Job. I don't expect to understand what God does. And certainly not why the Omniscient, Omnipotent Lord of Hosts does what he does. And I'm not about to demand an explanation. That kind of trouble I don't need.

That doesn't keep me from being curious.

I was born with bad hips - and God allowed (at least) a doctor to use me as a sort of lab rat. Without my parent's knowledge or consent. (February 3, 2009) Decades of pain later, I'm walking around reasonably well - but it hurt, in several senses of the word.

God also blessed me with a brain that operates at somewhere between the 95th percentile and off-the-chart. Except for being able to concentrate, or hold onto data for short-term operations.

There are a few folks in the state of Minnesota who'd make worse accountants than I would - but not many.

That's not speculation, by the way: being tested recently, I did the verbal-intelligence test perfectly, and barely scored in what used to be called "clerical speed and accuracy."

No bragging, or complaining - that's just the equipment I was conceived with.

What's bothered me is - why would God decide to give me a body that pretty much guaranteed that swimming and parallel bars would be the only athletic activities I was competent at; with a brain that's crazy-powerful in some ways. And just plain crazy in others.

My wife's suggested that I was born a cripple so that I'd have opportunities to learn humility. She's got a point. If I had been a star athlete as well as an intellectual whiz kid: I might have been even more insufferable than I've been at times.

About the extreme peaks and valleys in my psychological and intelligence tests? This is sheer speculation: but I've suspected that maybe I got the smarts, to give me a fighting chance for dealing with the deficits; or maybe those neural speed bumps were put there to keep me humble?

I - really - don't - know.

And that's okay. I don't need to. Uncertainty, and dealing with it, is part of life-as-it-is here on firebase Earth. And I've posted about that earlier today. And on April 5, 2009.

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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Prayer, Medicine and Trusting God

If the start of this post looks familiar, it should.

I was writing about the Chaplet, prayer, God, and related topics. About the time I got to "prayer, Trusting God, and using my brain," I realized that I'd started another post. So I copied what I'd written after changing topics, pasted it here, and moved on.

Now, about trusting God, taking medicine, praying, feeding myself and other apparent contradictions:


Prayer, Trusting God, and Using My Brain

I took that last photo after saying the Chaplet this afternoon.

You probably noticed the pill bottle, toward the top. I had it on the keyboard as a reminder to refill that prescription. That particular one is mirtazapine.

How can I, a Christian, rely on man's strength, when I should be trusting in God?

Look at it this way. When I'm hungry, I don't expect God to put a chair behind me, ease me down, carry food to my mouth and work my jaw up and down to chew it. That sort of thing I can handle on my own: and I do.

Every once in a while, you see someone with religious objections to making use of medical technology. I'm sure they're quite sincere. I'm also quite sure that they're mistaken.

Back to that mirtazapine.

Major Depression isn't Fun

I've got major depression: and was diagnosed a few years ago. Looking back, I'd probably had it since the mid-sixties, when I turned thirteen.

I grew about a foot at the same time, and was shaving regularly a month or so later: so I figured that the dull, gray, lack of emotional response to truth and beauty that I was experiencing was normal for adolescent and post-adolescent human males. And I decided that I'd better learn to deal with it.

It was a little frustrating, learning that most folks don't spend their teenage years and the first few decades of adulthood struggling with the controls of their brains. But I can think of worse things to deal with.

On the 'up' side, the inside of my head wasn't an emotional desert all the time. Sure, I had to reason my way out of suicide now and then: but that was good exercise. And I think my capacity for seeing wonder and beauty in a gob of mud or a dry stick comes from my efforts to rev myself up, back in the 'good old days.'

Sometimes I didn't have to work at getting an emotional response: like a few times when I saw a crescent moon after sunset in a perfectly clear sky.

But I still was spending — I now realize — a lot of attention on making my brain work, at the expense of tasks like deciding what I wanted to do with it.

Then, as I wrote before, a few years ago I was diagnosed as having major depression. And had a prescription for a serotonin uptake inhibitor: which I've been taking ever since. It keeps my body from reabsorbing serotonin, a chemical that nerves need to function, too fast.

The mirtazapine is a tetracyclic antidepressant, which is a five-dollar word meaning that it keeps "neurotransmitters from binding with nerve cell receptors called alpha-2 receptors". (MayoClinic.com) I started taking it a bit later — as a way to make getting to sleep less an exercise of the will and more of a natural process.

Weak-Willed? Proud? No: Smart

It'd be nice if I could just 'rise above' my brain's lack of neurotransmitters, and be a 'real man' by acting un-depressed. It'd also be nice if I could think real hard and replace the plastic-and-metal hip joints I've got with flesh-and-blood ones. It's not gonna happen.

I can't be sure, since it isn't possible for me to get inside someone else's mind, but it looks like not everyone sees depression that way. A discussion thread in one online community, on the subject of depression and pharmaceutical treatments, included remarks by one of the nice, normal folks that they, personally, never needed to drink or take drugs to feel good about themselves.

Well, good for them.

I might not be quite as open about my medical condition, if I was in the position of looking for work: or had social aspirations. As it is, I probably won't have to convince a potential employer that I really am a good risk: so I can be honest.

American culture has improved, a little, in the half-century that I've been paying attention: but we can still improve the way we see people who are off the 50th percentile.

Maintaining Health: A Weakness?

I've got some glitches in my personality that I'm working on: but having a serotonin deficiency isn't a character flaw. It's a treatable physical condition.

And, now that I don't have to concentrate so much on getting tasks done and not killing myself: I've got time to work on a serious backlog of personal improvement.

At least I won't be bored.

I've known — and known of — a few people who apparently didn't like having to take medications to deal with neurological problems. So they stopped taking their meds.

That was a really, really bad idea.

Never mind the economic consequences of losing jobs and having to abandon a career. We're talking about broken marriages here.

My father, when I told him that I had major depression and was taking medications to control it, wanted to be sure that I wasn't going to stop taking the prescribed doses. No fear of that: I've seen what the alternative does to people, and that kind of trouble I don't need.

I'm not being weak: or strong; or brave; or cowardly. I'm just being smart.

But Don't Religious People Rely on God?

I don't think there's a sect anywhere that seriously believes that God will force-feed them, and therefore abstains from feeding themselves. If there ever was, they didn't last long. Not without getting practical before they starved.

But, since most people stay comparatively healthy for years at a stretch, quite a few folks seem convinced that God will intervene when they refuse to deal with illness. Interestingly, I can't remember hearing of a sect who believed that broken bones didn't need splints — but you never know.

But isn't going to a doctor turning your back on God and relying on the strength of men? "Biblical" as that sounds: I really don't think so.

But then, I'm aware that doctors are human beings. Finite created beings, like bacteria, whales, and archangels. I don't feel bad about relying on a doctor for medical help, any more than I feel bad about relying on a chair to keep my butt from hitting the floor when I sit down.

It helps, I think, that I know who's running the show:
"With creation, God does not abandon his creatures to themselves. He not only gives them being and existence, but also, and at every moment, upholds and sustains them in being, enables them to act and brings them to their final end. Recognizing this utter dependence with respect to the Creator is a source of wisdom and freedom, of joy and confidence:
"For you love all things that exist, and detest none of the things that you have made; for you would not have made anything if you had hated it. How would anything have endured, if you had not willed it? Or how would anything not called forth by you have been preserved? You spare all things, for they are yours, O Lord, you who love the living.160"
(Catechism of the Catholic Church, 301)
(and see Catechism, 2288)
I'm aware that if God decided to stop thinking about me, I'd stop existing. It's a hypothetical situation, but I suspect that I might never have existed. Interesting metaphysical speculation, but pointless: if it happened, I wouldn't know it, or care. Or be.

And, besides just being aware, I make the Seven Petitions on a fairly regular basis. It's not that I'm afraid that God will stop loving me, or punish me. I do it because at a bare minimum, it's good to keep me reminded that God's God and that I'm me.

So no: "religious" people don't have to stop being sensible. Not if they're Catholics.

On the other hand, we're expected to follow God's law when we use medical technology. These days, that can get very interesting, very fast:
" 'One must hold as licit procedures carried out on the human embryo which respect the life and integrity of the embryo and do not involve disproportionate risks for it, but are directed toward its healing, the improvement of its condition of health, or its individual survival.'83

" 'It is immoral to produce human embryos intended for exploitation as disposable biological material.'84

" 'Certain attempts to influence chromosomic or genetic inheritance are not therapeutic but are aimed at producing human beings selected according to sex or other predetermined qualities. Such manipulations are contrary to the personal dignity of the human being and his integrity and identity'85 which are unique and unrepeatable."
(Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2275)
So, no: I don't feel guilty about using medications to keep my brain working smoothly. And (we're not quite there, but it's close) if parents knew their unborn child would have leukemia, I wouldn't be upset about their having a doctor fix the embryo's genetic glitch.

The next time someone gets the bright idea of making a race of supermen: that I'd have a problem with.

But that's another topic. ("Artificially Enhanced Human Beings: That's So 20th Century" Drifting at the Edge of Time and Space (March 3, 2010))

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Marian Apparition: Champion, Wisconsin

Background:Posts in this blog: In the news:

What's That Doing in a Nice Catholic Blog?

From time to time, a service that I use will display links to - odd - services and retailers.

I block a few of the more obvious dubious advertisers.

For example: psychic anything, numerology, mediums, and related practices are on the no-no list for Catholics. It has to do with the Church's stand on divination. I try to block those ads.

Sometime regrettable advertisements get through, anyway.

Bottom line? What that service displays reflects the local culture's norms, - not Catholic teaching.