Holy Family, Not '50s Family

This morning's readings — Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14; Genesis 15:1-6, 21:1-3; Colossians 3:12-21 or Hebrews 11:8, 11-12, 17-19; and Luke 2:22-40 — have one thing in common: marriage and family.

That figures, since this is Holy Family Sunday.

Taking a cue from our Lord, Catholics see family as a big deal. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1601-1658, particularly 1655; 2210)

That's not the same as holding up Happy Days or All In the Family as an ideal toward which all must strive.

So why is this in one of today's readings?

⁸ Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord."
(Colossians 3:18)

Some of the world's billion-plus living Catholics may think this verse justifies their view that wives are useful household items, along with the dog and a dishwasher.

That's not what the Church says, though. The rest of that bit from Colossians goes like this:

"Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.

"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.

"Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged."
(Colossians 3:19-21)

It's not the 'share a bedroom while you feel like it' arrangement that's been popular occasionally: but Colossians 3:18-21 doesn't describe the toxic domestic lockup many of my generation grew up with.

I've talked about Ephesians 5:22-31, Judges 4:4-10; John 2:1-5, and herding goats, before. (February 9, 2014)

Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility: Keillor's Got a Point

Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon Catholics were members of the Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility parish.

The parish, and town, are fictional: but there's something to the stereotype that responsibility goes with being Catholic.

In a Catholic family, we all have duties: children (Catechism, 2214-2220); and parents (Catechism, 2221-2231); wives and husbands. (Catechism, 2360-2365)

Men and women aren't alike: which is fine with me. More to the point, that's the way God designed humanity:

"God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them."
(Genesis 1:27)

Since I think God designed humanity, and doesn't make junk: I think men and women are important. We have "an equal personal dignity." (Catechism, 2334, 2393)

Being "in the divine image" is more about our minds than our bodies, and I'm wandering off-topic. (Catechism, 1701-1709)

As usual, it boils down to 'love God, love my neighbor, see everybody as my neighbor.' (Matthew 5:43-44, 22:36-40; Mark 12:28-31; Luke 10:25-30; Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1825)

The Church says parents have 'rights,' which governments should recognize: civic leaders have responsibilities, too.

Parents have, or should have, "...the right to choose a school for them which corresponds to their own convictions...." That's because parents are — what else? — responsible for their children's education. (Catechism, 2229)

Part of their education is teaching our kids "...to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God...." (Catechism, 2226)

That doesn't mean I'm expected to train my kids to be priests, monks, or nuns. It's pretty obvious that none of our kids are headed for a "religious" vocation: which is okay. I'll get back to that.

Family and Freedom

Once I've made sure my kids got an education, I can tell them to be doctors, or lawyers, or whatever?

Nope. Not even if it's a family tradition.

"When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life...."
(Catechism, 2230)

I can't even tell my kids to get married, or who to marry — or not to get married.

My wife and I are expected to give our kids "judicious advice," while being "careful not to exert pressure on them ... either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse...." Once they're adults, the choice is theirs. (Catechism, 2230-2233)

Family is important: but it's not the most important thing in life. Putting anything ahead of God on my priority list is idolatry: which is strictly against the rules. (Catechism, 2112-2114)

Not All Vocations are "Vocations"

"Parents should respect and encourage their children's vocations. They should remember and teach that the first calling of the Christian is to follow Jesus."
(Catechism, 2253)

In my dialect of English, a "vocation" in the Catholic context generally means a "religious" vocation: being a priest, nun, or monk.

Clergy and holy orders are vocations: but so is being married, or single. As I've said before, everybody's got a vocation. (December 11, 2011)

"VOCATION: The calling or destiny we have in this life and hereafter. God has created the human person to love and serve him; the fulfillment of this vocation is eternal happiness (1, 358, 1700). Christ calls the faithful to the perfection of holiness (825). The vocation of the laity consists in seeking the Kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and directing them according to God's will (898). Priestly and religious vocations are dedicated to the service of the Church as the universal sacrament of salvation (cf. 873; 931)."
(Catechism, Glossary, V)

Folks who follow a vowed life, nuns and monks, have a "vocation." (Catechism, 925-927)

So do ordained deacons, priests, bishops, the Pope; and everyone else. (Catechism, 874-896, 897-913, 1669)

I'm in the "everyone else" category: part of the laity. Our job is "...to seek the kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and directing them according to God's will...." (Catechism, 898)

The Catholic Church has been around for about two millennia, attracting folks from around the world. Every individual and each culture brings something new to the mix. Some innovations, like St. Francis of Assisi's nativity scene, are still with us.

Getting back to vocations, by now it's not just priests, nuns, monks, and laity. we've got secular institutes (Catechism, 928-929), societies of apostolic life (Catechism, 930), and other vocations that overlap vowed and laity.

No Pressure, Really

Two of our surviving kids are a bit like me; two are a bit like my wife; and each of them is a unique individual, pursuing his or her vocation. So far, they've all decided to stay with the Catholic Church.

But if one of them decided to walk out: the church door is unlocked, metaphorically speaking. Anyone is free to leave. Or join.

If one of the kids decided to stop being Catholic, I wouldn't be happy about it: but even if I could "make" them believe, I wouldn't. Seeking truth is a responsibility each of us has. Forcing another person to act against his or her convictions is against the rules. (Catechism, 2104-2109)

Maybe you've run into Catholics who don't live up to these high standards. I'm not surprised.

We're all human beings: basically good creatures, dealing with the consequences of a bad decision by our first parents. (Catechism, 388-389, 396-409)

For two millennia, the Church has been passing along what our Lord told us: 'love God, love our neighbor, see everybody as our neighbor.'

And for two millennia, some of us have paid attention: trying to live as if those ideas matter.

Looking Ahead

I wasn't a Catholic in the '60s and '70s, when 'those crazy kids' were trying to change the world.

I thought change was needed, though: and still do. Some of our reforms are turning out well. Others, not so much — but I'm glad the "good old days" aren't coming back.

Since today's America — and world — are far from perfect, we still have work to do.

When we're doing our job, the Church doesn't make people behave the right way. At its worst, forcing 'correct' behavior leads to atrocities like the Verden massacre. A dozen centuries later, we're still cleaning up that mess. (May 18, 2014)

Convincing folks that loving neighbors is a good idea takes longer. But after 19 centuries of passing along 'love God, love our neighbors, see everyone as our neighbor;' a remarkable number of folks started thinking that owning other people is wrong.

Human nature being what it is, some Catholics of the early 42nd century may be upset that the Church doesn't 'make' people behave.

My guess, and hope, is that the social ills they're sorting out won't be quite the same ones we have. And that's another topic. (October 26, 2014; September 13, 2011)

I'd say 'that's not my problem,' but I'm a member of society, with — you guessed it — responsibilities to future generations. And that's yet another topic. Topics. (Catechism, 1905, 1917, 2415, 2456)


(From Jaime Jasso, via DeviantArt.com, used w/o permission.)

More of my take on life, love, and the long haul:

• "Caesar, Civilization, Dealing With Change — and Building a Better World"
  (August 31, 2014)
  Particularly
  • Poems, Movies, and Slow Progress
  • It's the End of Civilization as We Know It: And About Time!
  • The Code of Hammurabi, Plus 3,700 years: Looking at the Big Picture
• "Joining the Universal Banquet"
  (August 3, 2014)
  Particularly
  • Bringing a Message of Hope and Love
  • Two Millennia: Looking Back, Looking Ahead
• " 'They Have no Wine' "
  (May 11, 2014)
  Particularly
  • Ephesians and Diapers
  • Queen, Yes: Passive, No
• "Unconsidered Optimism and Diaper Changing Tables"
  (June 23, 2013)
• "Sex, Marriage, and the Catholic Counter-Culture"
  (February 17, 2011)
  Particularly
  • Catholic Teachings, Not Victorian Melodrama
  • Marriage: Candy, Flowers, and Clogged Drains

Background:

• "For the XXXI World Day of Prayer for Vocations"
  Pope John Paul II (26 December 26, 1993)
• "Familiaris Consorti"
  On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World
  Pope John Paul II (November 22, 1981)
• "Gravissimum Educationis"
  Declaration on Christian Education
  Pope Paul VI (October 28, 1965)
• "Divini Illius Magistri" On Christian Education Pope Pius XI (December 31, 1939)

The Feast of the Holy Family

Readings for December 26, 2010, Feast of the Holy Family 2010:

• Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14
• Colossians 3:12-21
• Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23

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The Feast of the Holy Family

By Deacon Lawrence N. Kaas
December 26, 2010

At the heart of a beautiful family: great human minds, like Aristotle, realized that the family is what makes a society free; great Christian minds, like John Paul II, knew that the family is the way to Jesus!

One of the major tragedies of our would today is the disintegration of the family. The holy union between one man and one woman established by God has come under attack from the secular world. Marriage was once held in high esteem as a holy institution, but laxity of morals has slowly eroded this former holy institution of marriage. In the past divorce was concealed, kept hidden as a shameful act, while today some consider it a badge of honor.

I was thinking the other day: if each husband treated his wife as if she was Mary and each wife respected her husband as Joseph, modeled by the Holy Family what a wonderful life would be Marriage!

Extra-marital affairs were likewise hidden and much as possible, while today it becomes a bragging point. Watching TV these days and one comes away thinking that if I'm not evolved - I'm not normal.

This really poses a very important question, who do you want to decide if you are normal? If you/I have our hearts and minds focused on Heaven, wouldn't we want to have God to decide weather we are normal or not? By the way, normal is not sameness, but is whether I am right with God. For normalcy is the knowledge of our relationship with the God that made us and the knowledge of our return to Him.

The Church founded by Christ must then teach and proclaim that contraception has led to disregard of its basic teaching - and sex becomes a personal pleasure devoid of love or purpose. It seems in our day the role of true parenting is ridiculed and by some considered as practiced by foolish know-nothings.

The time has come for Catholic families once again to look to the Holy Family for guidance and inspiration. Each year the Church gives us this beautiful feast dedicated to the Holy Family to help us. In the opening prayer for the Sacred Liturgy today, we pray for peace in our families, united in respect and love.

The Reading from the book of Sirach enumerates the blessings those receive who honor their father and mother.

St. Paul reminds us that we are a chosen race, saints of God, and that we must clothe ourselves with virtue in order to bring unity to the family as intended by God.

The Gospel relates another dream of St. Joseph, in which he is alerted of danger, in obedience and silence he leads his family into safety, first into a foreign land, and then back to Nazareth in order to fulfill the words of the prophets. "He will be called a Nazarene."

On January 5, 1964, Pope Paul VI gave a powerful reflection in Nazareth on the Holy Family that continues to teach and give us practical advice today.

"Nazareth is a kind of school where we may begin to discover what Christ's life was like and even to understand His Gospel. Here we can observe and ponder the sample appeal of the way God's Son came to be known, profound yet full of hidden meaning. And gradually we may even learn to imitate Him."

Today, many families home-school, so I would direct those families to model their curricula on the Holy Family in order to, as Pope Paul says, "discover what Christ's life was like and understand His Gospel."

We learn from the Holy Family the value of silence and to appreciate its ability to overcome the cacophony of protests and conflicting claims so characteristic in our turbulent times.

Pope Paul continues by reminding us that it is in the model of the Holy Family that we can see a model of and character of our families. Becoming the perfect setting for the rearing of children. Do I dare say there is no substitute!

Lastly the Pope reflects on the value of work, again as it relates to the Holy Family.

"In Nazareth, the home of the craftsman's son, we learn about Work and the discipline it entails. I would especially like to recognize its - demanding yet redeeming - and to give it proper respect. I would remind everyone that work has its own dignity. On the other hand, it is not an end in itself. Its value and free character, however, derives not only from its place in the economic system, as they say, but rather from the purpose it serves."

The Pope goes on to say that is unfortunate that so many look down on manual labor for it give one a sense of pride and accomplishment and, without work, we'll become listless. Looking to the Holy Family, we see each family member diligently contributing to a variety of task as appropriate to their position in the Domestic church, the Family. We may achieve this by observing proper order in our family life, which includes discipline, obedience, silence and recognition of the need for work with its sanctifying merit.

The family can bind this all together in their common life, which entails prayer, meals, recreation and work done as members of a family.

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'Thank you' to Deacon Kaas, for letting me post his reflection here.

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More reflections:

• "Reflections from Sauk Centre's Our Lady of the Angels Church"

Related posts:

• "Home Schooling and This Catholic Family"
  (February 26, 2011)
• "Joseph's Bones, a Promise, and Passing the Word"
  (December 20, 2010)
• "Kids Don't Learn Faith: They Catch It"
  (September 15, 2010)
• "Sex, the Practicing Catholic, and Vatican Roulette"
  (June 5, 2010)
• "The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph"
  (December 27, 2009)

More:

• "The Lessons of Nazareth - Pope Paul VI"
  basilicanazareth.org
• "Angelus"
  Benedict XVI; St Peter's Square; Feast of St Stephen, Protomartyr; Feast of the Holy Family (December 26, 2010)

The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

Readings for December 27, 2009, The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph:

• 1 Samuel 1:20-22, 24-28
• 1 John 3:1-2, 21-24
• Luke 2: 41:52

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Feast of the Holy Family 2009

By Deacon Lawrence N. Kaas
December 27, 2009

We hear very little of Jesus before his public ministry in the New Testament. We have one story of him in today's Gospel. St. Luke recalls for us how Jesus, at 12 years of age, was separated from Mary and Joseph. Mary and Joseph presumed that the young Jesus was in the caravan leaving Jerusalem after the festival. Those of us who raised boy's would not find this very unexpected. Nevertheless, in this case, Mary and Joseph were wrong. They had presumed that Jesus was among their relatives and friends. We wouldn't find this unreal, as our boy's would have been with their friends on such a trip. They did eventfully find him in the temple asking the doctors questions. I always find this interesting because this picture is not as it seems. There is a method of teaching that is called Rabbinic Argumentation. This method is a way of asking question after question until the ones questioned arrives at the right answer. This could, very will be why they were so astonished at him.

We would find it very unsettling if this were our boy and I'm betting that it has happened to every family who has a boy. Our breath and heart nearly fall from our body, at the sudden realization that the boy is lost. So must it have been with Mary and Joseph. They however must have experienced at least some pride as Jesus showed so much understanding in his exchange with the teachers of the Temple.

It is understandable that Mary would have asked, "Son why have you done this to us?" Jesus' answer is enlightening. "Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?" The Evangelist comments at this point that Mary and Joseph did not, however, comprehend this answer of Jesus.

Today is the Feast of the Holy Family, celebrated as we revel in the joy of the birth of the Christ Child. Today's feast and the Gospel text suggest for us the familiarity and comfort of being home.

The enjoyment of being home is not a universal phenomenon., Not even the Scriptures say this is so. All we need to do is consider the parable told by Jesus in the Gospel of Luke called the Prodigal Son.

We know that the younger son in the parable is not satisfied being at home. Why else, then, would he request prematurely his share of the estate, collect his belongings and set off to a distant country. Home, just was not the place he wanted to be at this time. The older son, even with his resentment against the younger brother and father, rather likes being at home. The father acknowledges this, too. He says to the older son, "You are here with me always."

We must be careful not to interpret "house" in an exclusively physical sense, however. Being in the Father's house carries with it the connotation that we abide in the Lord's work, that we share in the concerns he has.

On the liturgical feast dedicated to family life, we must admit candidly that the place where the family dwells, the house, is often filled with discord. Perhaps, some of the discord is the result of family members who choose against dwelling in the presence of the Lord above everything else.

Rather that it being a dwelling place of peace and security, the house is where family members fight – sometimes to the point of violence. Peace-makers are needed at kitchen tables more than they are needed at international conferences if ever we look at the statistics of domestic abuse.

In the Christmas season, we look upon Jesus as the Prince of Peace. The peace he brings to us is the fruit of reconciliation. The Son in taking on human flesh, being born in the likeness of men, reconciles the Father with his wayward adopted children.

The Incarnate Son did not just say peaceful things; he did them. The supreme peaceful act, of course, was laying down his life for us. The death of Jesus on the Cross brings about the forgiveness of sin. We must be inclined to testify to this truth with our lives, a point St. Paul makes abundantly clear in today's second reading. We must be ready to forgive one another he says, and this we all know starts in our families. This is how we change the society we live in. Family reconciliation is the stepping-stone to international reconciliation.

Jesus' work of reconciling sinful humanity with the Father is preeminently a work of restoring us to God's House. Reconciliation makes us fit as it were to dwell with the Lord. In St. John's Gospel, Jesus declares to the apostles that there are many dwelling places in the Father's house.
Inside the Father's house, with all its dwelling places, we still sit down together and dine at one at the messianic banquets. But before sitting down there, we must be reconciled. The hard work of reconciliation on earth culminates in the Eucharist.

The prodigal son, when he returns to his father's house, is received with joy. The joy of family life is not, then, in the value of the house but in the values that are lived there. Families who practice a Christ-like love in their houses are rich beyond description. The word of Christ dwells in them. Who could be wealthier than that?

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More:

• "Reflections from Sauk Centre's Our Lady of the Angels Church"